When I talk about success at my events or to people in groups or even one on one, many times people say to me - "Ron, what you teach is great. I believe what you say. I really want to live by these principles. But you have no idea what it's like to ......".
At this point I am told about things like -
You have no idea what it's like to work where I work. My boss is an asshole.
You have no idea what it's like at home. My kids do not listen to me.
You have no idea how I was raised. I was abused as a child.
You have no idea what happened to me. My business partner ripped me off.
Or, some other version of this story.
I am always left thinking how easy it is for people to think and feel - "I am a victim; I have tried everything; I am stuck; There is nothing more I can do".
They are frustrated and miserable and don't see any options for themselves.
My response to their question usually shocks them. I can tell by their reaction that some are even offended to begin with.
This is what I say:
"In the long term, your circumstances are never the cause. What you are experiencing is the 'effect'. And the fact that you think that the problem is out there, is a problem".
Many people respond angrily by saying - "So, you are suggesting that I am responsible for this problem!?"
What I am saying is that any time you wrap your emotional life around another person, situation or event, you continue to give permission to something outside of you to mess up your life. You allow your past to hold your future hostage".
Unfortunately, our society manufacturers and reinforces the mindset of victimism and blame. And when we fall for this mindset, we give up our power to something outside of us that we cannot control.
A post on Facebook by someone complaining or seeking sympathy will many times be more popular than a post that encourages self-responsibility.
Why? Because misery loves company.
But you and I have the ability to use our power of choice and become the creators of our own lives.
Fact is - becoming a victim may not be a choice but remaining a victim is definitely a choice. A choice that unfortunately, gives your future away.
- Ron Malhotra
What do you think? Do you agree? Disagree? Have another idea? Please comment below..