Recently I had a disagreement with someone. Like all disagreements, I felt my stance was right and they thought their stance was right.
I felt hurt and betrayed.
It's been a few days now and as I reflect on the situation again, I realized that when we get caught up in our own emotion, we can indeed become unforgiving.
I decided to forgive.
What helped me was an article by Andrea Brandt where she explains what forgiving DOESN'T mean:
Forgiveness doesn't mean we are excusing the other person's actions.
Forgiveness doesn't mean we need to tell the person that he or she is forgiven.
Forgiveness doesn't mean we shouldn't have any more feelings about the situation.
Forgiveness doesn't mean we should forget the incident ever happened.
Forgiveness doesn't mean we have to continue to include the person in our life.
By forgiving, we are accepting the reality of what happened and finding a way to live in a state of resolution with it.
This can be a gradual process—and it doesn't necessarily have to include the person we are forgiving.
Andrea's article made me realize that forgiveness isn't something we necessarily do for the other person; it's something we do for us, but it certainly doesn't happen unless we are WILLING to forgive.
- Ron Malhotra